Words

All that's 

confined in heart 

flows 

in words 

All that

flow in words

still remains 

confined in heart

Image Source : Kurzweil

Habitual

"Heyy"

"Hey baby" Shruti smiled wide seeing his face. " I hope I haven't made you wait long" 

" Not at all" and he planted a soft kiss on her lips.Shruti blushed as she hadn't expected such warmth on being late. After sometime, as they settled in their usual rusty bench in the park, Ravi broke the silence. 

" What happened ?"

Shruti was a little surprised at the question. "Nothing. Why you asking ?" she looked at him, as if she didn't understood his question nor the sudden spring of concern.

"You were limping. What happened ?"

"How do you know ? I was walking normally." she counter questioned to avoid the answer 

Ravi smiled. "We have been together for 6 months now. You think I don't observe your movements?"

"Oh its nothing. I just fell down from the bike." she said looking at two kids who were fighting for their turn, near the swing

"Oh ..you okay? When? How? Where ? Why didn't you tell me ?" there was obvious concern in his voice

She turned her head to look in his eyes, only to find them moist "Hey relax. I am fine" she whispered

"Hmmmm" he held her hands tightly, letting his touch explain his concern.

"Relax Ravi. It's very common for me to get hurt every now and then. Its been a habit now.I keep stumbling at every other thing almost every day. In fact, if I don't get stuck any day, it means something is wrong with me" Shruti laughed, her mind tuning to recent silly instances.

Ravi stared at her face that was glowing with her laughter. He just kept looking at her, as if trying to understand what she exactly wanted to convey, or rather what didn't even run in her mind. While her eyes were transfixed on two kids, who were still fighting. She let out a chuckle when she saw one of the kids outsmarting the other, and swinging joyously.  It then dawned to her that her ever chatty sweetheart was quiet today. She turned to look to him, and saw that his eyes were still stuck on her, and a tear, in the mean time, had rushed out.

"Heyy.. what happened ? I am okay. Really." Shruti melt. She didn't expect Ravi to react so much for a casual injury."Speak something" she nudged him.

"You won't ever get hurt from now on okay? I won't let you. You can't be and I won't let you be careless about yourself. Coz  I love you" Ravi said passionately, his tone reflecting the depth of his words, which he meant truly. Shurti broke the stream of tears and hugged him tight. Today, she was confident, no matter what her past has bestowed her with, life would quit its habit of snatching lovables from her.

6 months later, 

"How did you get hurt?" the doctor enquired.

"Small accident." a quick reply came in

"Its a fracture. You need to take rest. And please Shruti, be careful when you drive. There could have been more damage. You could have got more hurt .." the words fell on deaf ears ..

"Its fine doctor. It has become a habit now" an emotionless mumble echoed in the room. Shruti took the support of the wall, limping her way through the door. After all, walls were the only support she was left with ..   

Some habits don't die at all ..

4

1+2 = 4

2-1 = 4

3/2 = 4

4*0 = 4

1/4 = 4

1-3 = 4

2*2 = 4

2-4 = 4

3*1+1-2 = 4

1+2+3 = 4

1-2 =  4

4-1+0 = 4

3*2 = 4

1+1= 4

3-4 = 4

and the permutation and combination goes on and on

Confused ? This is what people have in their mind when you say just 4(and nothing more)

PS : 4 was just a random number chosen. No offence against other numbers ;)
Image Source : Dreamstime

Same

This is a work of fiction.

It was 23 times in 56 days. Yes 23 times. I counted it every time. Every bloody time  Because I always yearned it more, every time she left. She had something in her, that drew me close to her. And every night we slept together, somehow one brick would fall. From the wall, that I had built around my heart. And I liked it. Liked what she did to me. Liked how mad she drove me. Liked the passion, the fire, the heated skin. Oh my, what a girl she was!

But I didn't knew the game. Not until today. I never understood her purpose. And it boils my blood now, when I think how clever she was. Or rather what a fool I have been ! Bloody fool ! I blurted out everything to her. All that I had wrapped within. Now I remember why she gave in to me. Why a girl, who so much believes in tradition and those rubbish things, agreed to lose her v, to a stranger. She wanted to know. She bloody wanted to know all which I had refused to let her know. But she found her way. On bed. And she being so sensuous, I could never say her no to her questions.

But now I regret. Regret for letting her know my past. My bloody past. That drove me to sleep with girls. Now I hate the girls all the more. They all are bloody same.

Chance

I gave you

a chance

to prove me

wrong

You took it up

accepted it

gracefully

and proved that

I was

always right

Attempt

It was dark
and darker it went
and shades of life
came in slides
it raised curtains
stains and soaps it gave
still
it hasn't end


I am waiting
for life
to close its chapter
but the lessons
seems
are still pending


One more attempt
to take my life
ended in
life's one more chance
to wake me up
for new tomorrow


What shall it bring
for I have lost
all hopes
I am living
yet inside
a part of me
has lost its soul


I will live
perhaps to die again
and I shall win 
one day
I will quit this game


All attempts then
shall prove futile
but till then
hope I fight


But for now
this pain shall remind
of the deeper scar
that pierced me
mercilessly
and life
who kept me alive
strangely

Whose attempt shall
prove fruitful
that remains
a mystery

PS : So, if you have read this poem kudos, for this was nothing more than a rambling. Trying to get back my thoughts. You see, a failed suicide attempt yesterday, so obviously my mind is yet to get back to this world. No comfort, no words of solace please. I am alive, and if you are caring enough to know how I am, the wound shall heal. So thanks.

In-between

A dream 

of travelling 

together 

hands in hands 

head on shoulders

slow steps

longer silence

soothing atmosphere

all seems golden

night lovelier 

Roads never ends

and then comes a bend 

you walk alone 

on that same road 

you are single

yet you aren't 

and that adds 

to the confusion

single but committed

committed yet single 

is it forever 
or 
never ?

Picture Courtesy : Google 

Box

All along

thoughts

that circled around

were

out-of-the-box

now I try to

 invent them

within

the boundary line

yet

I am still unaware

which is difficult -

to let it 

hang outside 

or make them

 confined

Picture Courtesy : Google 

Circles # 1

An unknown journey transports to unknown destination.

Reverse

Suddenly

the passing clouds

stand still

and 

the earth

 seems to spin

Connection

She loved his blog. There was something in it. His thoughts. Yes, his thoughts. They spoke lot.. It would hit the most bottom layer of her mind. Not that she agreed always though. There were more differences in their thoughts, but his words were powerful. Strikingly true. And she grew fond of him, rather his pattern of thoughts, his different ways of describing things, or saying different things, she didn't know. It has been more than a year since she started to read his blog. She never left a comment to mark her presence, nor did he ever knew he was admired by her so much . He wrote anonymously, and she read as an anonymous reader.

And one day, he stopped writing, she stopped reading, both occurring on same day. They never felt the need. Because now both knew the other anonymous, so well. They were siblings who shared same roof, now they started to share their thoughts.